You know you are a real slacker when…

You know you are a real slacker when…

You know you are a real slacker, (or maybe just a closeted redneck, which would also explain my obsession with redneck fiction, but I’ll save that for another post), when you always get totally jacked up when you see a Cabela’s outdoor store.

I don’t even hunt or even really go outdoors for that matter, but when I see one of those stores.

I immediately picture myself coming out of there armed to the teeth. In full camo, with a pack on my back, full of every survival tool known to man!

Of course then I would just go home to my apartment in the west end, and pile all the stuff on my living room floor, and play with it.

While I binged watched all my pvr’d outdoor reality shows, while trying to light a fire with my flint and knife, in a folding frying pan, full of wood  shavings, that used to be a pencil, on the floor.

Alone is the best one, by far. I love the remoteness, and the fact that they are really alone. They have to film them selves, no crew, just them out there, all alone.

And it’s impossible not to criticize them when they do dumb things. 

While I’m trying to start a fire, with a faro rod, in a frying pan on my living room floor.

Knowing I would never do the dumb thing they just did, and always know exactly what needed to be done.

If I wasn’t afraid of the dark, and bears, and being alone, in like, the arctic circle or some other remote place, I’d total apply to go on that show and I am sure I would win! lol.

I am not exactly sure why I love everything about the outdoors, but I sooo do.

I love buying and playing with all the latest outdoor gear, and trying to light a fire in a frying pan, on floor of my  condo, nestled in the west end. 

I just fucking love the outdoors, but I love it the most on a large flat screen TV! 🙂