Writing the truth is impossible, I think, we all be covering up something deep, that we can’t let go, because of the fear. We throw out small pieces of it here and there, just to feel good, that we pushed back, a bit, on the fear, but I think the only way to absolute freedom, is to throw it all out there and say fuck you fear!!!!

But I think that’s impossible, who can say they really did that? Because we all still have fear, the best we can do is beat it back, and say fuck you bitch!!! Which is what I think this site is evolving into, talking about it, and saying anything, even if it shocks the fuck out of some, who cares, we are all just trying to break out, and be our truth, and not prisoners of fear. 

I write like, I would say, 95% of this stuff, without knowing what I am going to write about. It’s like whatever streams out of my fucked up brain I write, and then I post it, I think I just figured out, why there is nobody here lol.

I was just reading some stuff I had written a while ago, sometimes, no a lot of times, I freak myself the fuck out! I just read this song I wrote, a few years ago, about something very personal, I know this site is evolving into…something…I think it is evolving into trying to just be the real you, and just not giving a fuck what other peeps think! 

But man, that is so hard to do. Like I wanted to post that song, but I feel it in my bones, I feel it like it’s a piece of me, that I would have to let the whole world see. I think I write some pretty fucked up shit on here at times, but I have stuff that really be weird. 

I just write all the fucking time, I write like a motherfucking fiend, if I don’t I would forget the shit that’s going on in this fucking brain of mine, I got to get it down.

Like I wrote in a post a while back, everyone is pretentious, this is pretentious as fuck!!!! But it’s true, I am like an OCD perfectionist, when I get into something I have to know it all, I become consumed with it, addicted to it. 

See I was going to tell you about my life right there, the truth, but that be to hard to do…I don’t even know why I am writing this post, I just started and now it’s all this pretentious shit, I think the only thing that isn’t pretentious is the truth, I think I am evolving towards talking about everything to anyone, but it’s like a motherfucking slow process at times. 

Like I feel if I actually just wrote about the truth of me, I would destroy everything and everyone I know, be shunned like a leper (are there still lepers?), but part of me feels like I would attract everyone, because when someone actually tells their ugly truth, we all think they are so brave, and we relate, because we are still afraid, I think that is what would happen, but doing it is a real motherfucker!!!! 

I think me writing about it, and my fear, of letting it go, and putting it out there, is my truth at the moment, but I am really just writing around the circle of fear balled up in the fiber of me, I think 99% of people do that. 

Some artists seem to speak from the heart, wow, this got so much heavier than it started out to be…which I have no fucking idea what that was exactly lol.

I just wanted to write something…and this shit came out…but it seems like something that should be on the evolving slacker site…we are all evolving, and it’s scary as fuck at times, but it’s also where all the best shit lives…