My car’s so old, it’s got a record player in it!

My car’s so old, the manual’s actually in Hebrew!

My car’s so old, at the end of the tailpipe, it’s got a colostomy bag!

My car’s so old, it often starts telling me, that when it was my age, it had to…that’s when I know I have definitely had too much…of whatever I’m doing, or…it is really fucking good!!!! 

My car’s so old, and looks so bad, I actually encourage birds to shit on it!

There ARE a few good things about owning an old car, one is, you don’t have to worry about putting on the emergency brake when parking on hills anymore, I just take my foot of the gas, and everything just…seizes!!! You just know that puppy’s not movin, I’ll be lucky if it ever moves again. 

Another great advantage of having an old car, is, you can drive it to the shittiest part of town, you know, to buy drugs and/or sex, and shit, and you never have to worry about it getting stolen, now I want to make it perfectly clear, before proceeding, that I don’t condone that type of behavior, at all! I am totally opposed to it!!

And by that type of behavior, of course, I mean, stealing!! I think that stealing is one of the most reprehensible things you can do, especially in front of drug dealers and prostitutes, anyway, now, where was I? 

The shitty part of town, drugs, dealers, prostitution, pimps…it’s starting to come back to me…ya, you don’t even have to worry about anyone stealing it. Even if you leave it in the darkest of dark, back alleys, with the sketchiest of peeps all around, with the keys in the ignition, and the windows rolled down.

It will still be there when you get back, and that’s when you really, start to realize, you are truly driving, a totally, amazing, piece of shit old car!!!! 

And you should really get the fuck out of the shitty part of town, because you now have drugs and hookers in your car!

But you have to get the tune situation sorted first, you select, Ten Seconds to Love, after putting the Shout At the Devil album on the turn table. It just seems like the appropriate selection, and then you get the hell out of there!

And all the while, you be thinking…vinyl really is the best, it’s so warm compared to any other format…

Oh sorry…rambling…this post, started out as something, what, exactly, I don’t really know, and turned into something else, and I really don’t mind.

It’s going nowhere, and everywhere, all at the same time. Now I am just writing, to free my mind. I could go on all night, again…what the fuck was I talking about?