The Evolving Slacker

Don’t you wish you were dumb? It’s a lot of fun…

by

And not be conflicted by anything?

I am, and I get away with everything…

I got a Hammer that will fit your Head
I got a hammer that will fit your head

Like I never go to bed, even though I should

I look at options, and pick the worst one

I want to see how far I can go

Because I never get caught or in trouble

A cop stopped me late one night

I couldn’t find my license so threw my wallet at him

I guess he found it and said please step out son

He wasn’t my dad but he had a gun

He said walk towards me and back again

Handed me my wallet, I didn’t understand

I would have blown his breathalyzer up

But he didn’t even give a fuck.

I don’t know why I always skated by

But I always did and I don’t know why.

Another time I was drunk as fuck

Road check and I knew I was fucked

Had a beer going in my hand

Put it behind the passenger seat

In my Miata, no place to hide

He asked if I had anything to drink

I said no sir not a fucking thing

Stuck his head in my car

It must have smelled like brewery

He said, have a good evening sir

I shook my head and gunned my car

Reached back and grabbed my beer

I’ve been in much worse spots

A sheriff in Texas put a 45 in my face

First time I looked in the barrel of a gun

It really is no fucking fun

Said get out of the car, put me on the pavement

it was like a 110

cuffed me and tossed my car

I sat with him on the side of the road

his deputy throwing all my things

Said what’s this all about

Said you crossed the border 9 times

I said what the fuck you talking about?

He said he ran my plates and he knows everything

I knew then he was looking for a payout

Well, he wasn’t getting a fucking thing

He told me I wasn’t going anywhere

All I thought was this cool

Actually getting shaken down

By a Texas Sheriff

I looked at him and give him a big grin

He knew right then he wasn’t getting a thing

Finally when all my shit was all over the road

He uncuffed me, said he never wanted to see me again

I just looked at him with a big ass grin

I really thought they only existed in movies

It was a total hassle, but I get say

I’ve had a 45 shoved in my face

but the most fucked up thing

There was a joint in my console

I can’t believe the deputy didn’t see it

It was just sitting there

I skated again

Like it’s always been

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26 thoughts on “Don’t you wish you were dumb? It’s a lot of fun…”

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