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A Motley Crue love story...

In the beginning, what was this thing?

All of a sudden, I could find anything

It was a birth, it was a death,

It was the beginning of the internet

 

Things that were far, were now very near

I dove in like a kid in a pool

Even though I didn’t know how to swim

I had to do it just to be cool

 

I wasn’t sure exactly what to do

But my heart and my fingers knew,

They went straight to Motley Crue,

I could not believe there were others too

 

Too fast for love, theater of pain

Shout at the Devil, Knock em dead

It was to much for my fucking brain.

My fingers knew, I became Cruehead

 

I knew I was probably insane

Found my tribe on the shout board,

Was always a weirdo, 

Now I was fucking adored

 

It was like I was born again,

Was a weirdo, but now Cruehead,

Public enemy # 1

I read every fucking single thread

 

Then somehow IRC

This was all new to me

But I found where I belonged,

Living in a fucking Motley Crue song

 

Everyone was just like me

Fucked up and just trying to be

I was blind but now I see

Was this really happening to me?

 

I lived just to log on

Cranking a fucking Motley song

Fuck the haters and hangers on

Cruehead is what I be

 

They thought I was so hardcore

I was a fucking Motley Crue whore,

Bashed them that be bashing me,

Fuck the haters, this was war

 

One hater, let's call him Axlrod,

He was a worthy adversary,

Everytime he posted hate,

I would shut that fucking troll down 

 

Shout board, IRC

Was a beautiful thing to see

It was the place for me

The only place I felt free

 

One day got a message from Heywannaplay

Said we both can see

Didn’t know exactly what to say

Wasn’t sure if they be a dude or a babe

 

She sent a pic

Said no fucking way

Showed my buddy

Dude said, no fucking way

 

But we started to chat all the time

Like every minute of every day

Fell in love with digital words

I can’t believe this was happening to me

 

Then she called me on the fucking phone

I was floored didn’t know what to say

Hey girl you took it offline

But she really sounded fucking fine

 

Started talking everyday

Her voice melted me from far away

She was crazy

Just like me

 

It was so uncharted territory 

We didn’t care

We did it anyway

Following our hearts anywhere

 

I never met anyone like me

I be fucking crazy

She said I want to come visit you

I be like, no fucking way

 

She booked a flight

We both be fucking cray

At this time this was crazy

But love does what it may

 

Picked her up in my crap car

Thing didn’t even have a stereo

I had a ghetto blaster in the backseat

Didn’t seem that weird to me

 

We were a little awkward at first

Had a single rose, still wearing dockers from work

She had on leopard print pants

Looking way more Motley than me

 

I don’t remember what we said

Got to hotel smoked a million cigs

I really had no game

I never did, never needed one

 

Nice Mullet, kinda the same as now,

Great hair, but still got no game

Never had one all my life never even tried, why fuck with things if they already be fly?

 

We smoked a pile of cigs, fucked, listened to Crue and watched porno flicks

Who was this fucking chick? Talked about getting married the very next day, probably should have in retrospect

But it was all so fucking crazy

 

Way more to come…this was before like Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan, you’ve got mail...I knew of no one who ever had an internet romance…especially over the love of Motley Crue

It was crazy as fuck, but so fucking cool…there is a perfect ending to this fucking tale…