An introduction to my alcoholic life

An introduction to my alcoholic life

Ok, I am going to write a book about my alcoholic life. Or at least an introduction to my alcoholic life.

Mostly because I want to see if I can do it, and also because I think If I could write it, it would sell, as there are a lot of other peeps who drink too much who would want to read it, so here goes. 

This is the story of my life long relationship with alcohol. It is a story I feel compelled to write because I think of it everyday. I think back to my first recollection of feeling that burn of alcohol down my throat and into my gut.

That beautiful burn, and the subsequent warmth that slowly spreads out from your stomach to the rest of your body, the feeling of euphoria you feel, only a few short seconds after gagging down that first god awful shot, it’s all so beautiful,(I could stop there, and it pretty much sums up, everything! But let’s keep going shall we?)

The first time I remember drinking hard liquor was when I was like, 12 or 13, my parents had gone out somewhere and I was home alone. I was going to go meet my friend and we were going to hitch hike down to a place, where all our friends hung out, about five miles away. 

This place was where everyone hung out and smoked pot and drank and basically honed their skills at becoming beautiful juvenile delinquents. 

I was prone to a bit of social anxiety in those days, hell, what 12 or 13 year old kid wasn’t? I was popular enough, but I felt a little awkward in big crowds, especially at that age.

I had had a few beers before and they had made me feel pretty good, but I had never tried hard liquor before, mostly because it smelled so fucking bad! 

My parents had a bar in the dining room. It was the type that had a cabinet with doors on it that came up to your waist, and then most of the booze was in bottles on top of the cabinet, and there was a mirrored back that ran up the wall about six feet, with shelves that held all the glass ware on it. 

I decided to try the Canadian club whiskey, mainly because that’s what my parents seemed to like the most, and there was no Jack Daniels, which I knew all the rockstars I loved drank 🙂

So I grabbed a shot glass off one of the shelves, and opened the 26er of Canadian club, and filled up the shot glass. I had a sniff and almost puked, I thought it smelled like paint thinner, it smelled so fucking gross!!

But, as I pretty much always do, when confronted with many life changing type decisions, I shrugged my shoulders, and said fuck it, and shot it back, well at least I tried to shoot it back.

I got about half of it in my mouth and I couldn’t handle any more, it was burning in my mouth, my eyes were watering, fuck it was gross! But I somehow managed to make myself swallow it. It burned like hell all the way down. I remember gagging and jumping around and swearing, fuck.!!!!!

But I wanted to do it so I made myself swallow the rest of the shot. 

I can’t remember exactly how long it was, but it wasn’t’ very long, before I started feeling a warm glow in my stomach. That felt really nice. It started to spread throughout my stomach and move up my body.

I started to feel really good. I remember smiling in the mirror as my head started to feel wonderful. It was fucking awesome! It’s was beautiful!

So of course I had another one, maybe two more…and left the house feeling like a superhero, with a smoke in his mouth, with no inhibitions, ready to take on the world, like every 12 year old boy does, right? 

Holy Shit, this book would be like 5000 pages minimum, describing all the fucked up shit I (and I am sure most people) did and do. 

Maybe that is why I started this site, so I can spew bits of it out here and there. It’ seems like a better way to do it

I just want to write, I can’t be constrained by a plot of a single idea. My mind needs to roam where it needs to roam. I feel I have so much bottled up inside me. I need to write it out. and i can’t be constrained or funneled into some kind of cage.

But that first experience, at 12 or 13, of that warm euphoric feeling, spreading slowly through out your body, while any self doubt or inhibitions disappeared, is something you never forget, you can’t forget! And why you do it again and again…

This was my introduction into the wonderful/fucked up world of alcohol.