Analytics, Shaved Balls and Bigfoot…

Analytics, Shaved Balls and Bigfoot

I guess I probably should have made three posts out of this, analytics, shaved balls and bigfoot, not sure what I was thinking.

But I really just wanted to put something up for you to read, and I felt like taking a break from this Rockstar jigsaw puzzle I be doing. So here we go.

So, last night I delved into the analytics of this site, and probably fucked up a bunch of shit that someone else will have to fix lol.

I think something is not right with something, somewhere on this site. The analytics often contradict themselves.

If some of this makes no sense to you just skip to the shaved balls section lol.

Google search console, which is like the god of how a site get’s ranked or found when you search for something on google, says I have like almost 2000 non indexed pages and posts.

Yet, at the same time it says 92% of my traffic is organic, meaning comes from peeps searching for something and something on this site shows up.

Make’s no sense. For one I don’t have anywhere near 2000 pages or posts, I wish I did, I believe my SEO plugin says I have 109 posts, so there’s that.

And if most of my pages and posts aren’t indexed it means google doesn’t recognize them, and they won’t show up in searches, but they do.

Ok, enough of that shit. Let’s talk about body trimming tools. I don’t know what you all use, I have been using a Phillips body groomer, it was not to bad, and lasted the last, about 3 years.

It would get caught on the pubes at times, not good, especially when it’s the pubes attached to your balls!!! It wouldn’t cut you or anything but it would give a good tug….yikes!

So I was in the market for a new body groomer, I was going to get a manscaper, as it get’s really good reviews.

Then I read about Meridian, which I had never even hear of before. The Trimmer Original, apparently it is the original body hair trimmer.

I like on the box it says, Bush, Buzz, Bare lol…I think that made me buy it. It’s a small light thing, with a changeable porcelain blade. (holy fuck I did a good job of not croping these pics didn’t I? lol)

So it’s impossible to cut yourself, or nic yourself, and the way it’s made I don’t thing it will ever get snagged on anything ever…it goes through pubes like butter.

I did my whole body with it once so far, and it was fucking sweet compared to my old Phillips. You could shave you head with it no problem to…I love it!!!!

If your ever in the market for a body groomer, give it a look, I had never heard of it, but I’m glad I chose it. my balls are so smooth I have to check ever so often to make sure they are still there, at least that’s the excuse I’m using for checking out how smooth they are lol.

On to the third totally non related topic, Man, I really should have done three good posts instead of one shitty one, but being a slacker, I just throw it all into one….and the headline pretty much makes you have to click on it.

Bigfoot, I usually just watch comedians in cars or a standup while doing my rockstar jigsaw puzzles.

But I decided to check out youtube on tv and try something different. I have been going down a major bigfoot rabbit hole the last few nights, and you know how youtube is, once you watch the same type of thing a few times it just keeps feeding you it.

I have always been fascinated with the thought of bigfoot anyway, so I was glued to it.

I think right now, after my hours of research, (could be a total of a couple days), I think he is extraterrestrial. That’s how he just disappears, or fucks up electronics or just hasn’t been caught yet.

What really freaked me out last night, it was about this time, I was listening to this podcast, yes there was a bigfoot podcast on at 6am lol.

This woman called in and her story was so eerily similar to what me and an ex (who are still best friends), experienced once, it would have made the hair on balls stand on end, if I had any hair on my balls lol.

She said she was out on a hike in Washington state, and she was an experienced outdoors woman, she was about a mile into the woods, when she all of a sudden noticed, there was absolutely no sound, no birds, crickets, nothing, that never happens, even if a grizzly walks by birds don’t care crickets don’t care.

She stopped, and heard something snapping through the woods, she couldn’t see anything, and she just started to run back the way she came.

She would stop every now and again, and could still hear it, so she kept running, she made it to the parking lot and jumped in her car and got the fuck out of there.

This is kind of odd because my story took place around Harrison hot springs, and lake. There is a guy on some bigfoot show, talking about an incident at Harrison hot springs, as I am typing this….that is fucked up!!!

Anyway, me and poopie, that was what we called each other so I’ll just go with that :), we camped out there, the name of the campground there is……………………..Bigfoot or Sasquatch campground.

So after we got up and had something to eat, we decided to go for a hike, there are a lot of trial’s around the lake.

For those that aren’t from the pacific northwest, it’s hard to imagine how big the trees are and how big all the vegetation is, it’s kinda freaky really.

We had walked about 20 or 30 minutes into the forest, it was much darker in there, and poopie kept her arm around mine.

At one point I said stop for a sec poopie, I had noticed there was not a sound, just like that woman who called in. And I have been in the woods since I was a kid, used to hunt a lot, (I’m vegan now), and there was always something making noise.

She said what? I said listen, what do you hear? After about 10 seconds she said, I don’t hear anything, it’s so quiet, I said, exactly, and told her I had never heard a forest this quiet.

She immediately, knew what I meant, she said I don’t like this poopie, let’s go back quick, we turned around and didn’t run but walked really fast.

I was always looking back, but we never heard anything at all, were did all the birds go? The frogs? Squirrels? Chipmunks?

After about 15 min we heard birds, crickets, chipmunks…how is it that something can silence things that would never care like birds?

Anyway, we got back to the campsite, and both said, let’s get the fuck out of here!!! We still talk about that, it was freaky.

Well, I don’t have a fourth topic so I’ll end it with that…I’m gonna go play with my smooth balls lol