I feel very nebulous about all things. I like to live in the ether world between reality and senility. If I had my druthers, being an evolving slacker and all. I would awake in the late afternoon, and crawl into bed, just before the light of day. Or maybe just after witnessing the dawning of the new day.
Well, to be perfectly honest, if I had my druthers. I would take but four hours sleep. The rest would be lived in a free for all vulgarity, of drugs, and alcohol, and sex, and all other known means of frivolity. And always to excess.
I like to be between everything, not quite night, and not quite day. I like to imagine, reality doesn’t exist. There is no normal. I can just go about my day, doing whatever I fancy. Even if it seems utterly absurd, to some, like becoming an evolving slacker. Even if I am not, entirely sure, what that really means…
Rules! I detest them! I think rules are created, by very weak and feeble minds. Minds with no imagination, minds that can’t handle the chaos, that can’t celebrate the strange. Minds that are malnourished, and because they are so malnourished, and small, and closed. They want to create rules, so everyone, that has a mind, that is not as closed, and small, as theirs, will be punished for it. For being strange
What a tragedy, what heresy, what lunacy, what utter hilarity. This world with all it’s frivolous rules. These rules, designed to ensnare the different, curb the enthusiastically creative, even the insane. That ensure, there are boundaries, the boundaries, that protect, these weak and feeble minds. From the rule-less void, that lies beyond the walls. Which they created.
I say let go! Let go of your shackles! Do not what is expected of you! Do only what is felt by you! Deep in your soul. So long as you do not, knowingly hurt another. Roll in the streets, become an evolving slacker. Do not shave, or cut your hair, don’t do anything, you think you have to, ever!
Wake up and create until you are spent. Make love everywhere. I know not of what I speak. I am but a vessel, on the sea of, of something, I know not of what it is made. I know not why I write, like I am from some bygone century. I believe it is because, I just finished, reading a book, written in such a manner, and I, being the consummate mimic, have taken on the character of said book. Or maybe I’m just insane.
I know deep in my heart, no, in all the fibers of my being. My life should be all about creating. Art, learning the craft, acting, writing, film-making, painting, music, comedy. Stories! It is all about the stories, the fiber of my being, is a story. I love nothing more than a story. The telling of it, the hearing of it, the reading of it, the watching, and listening of it.
Everyday life means little to me. Work means nothing! It is only a means, to keep me from having to sleep, in the streets. I feel a great regret that, I did not pursue this way of life as a younger man. But I lacked the courage, it was so outside the norm in my life.
I lacked the tools, and confidence, to allow myself to suffer for my art. Even though I know now, and I knew then. That it is the only thing, that really makes me happy.
I was afraid, I am still afraid, to be who I truly am. So much so, that this writing, is the truest thing I have ever written. I have always been a slacker. I’ve never really had to try, things always worked out for me, and I really don’t understand why.
That is why I called this site, The Evolving Slacker, I want to evolve, so I can understand.
Things flicker, in and out of my mind, I lose the thought, as soon as it comes to me. I wish that didn’t happen…
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